Chapter 6

Before I tell you about Step’s journey with the policeman to the orphanage I will go back in time to Saturday morning, when Step left happily with the pretty young woman, looking forward to his weekend on a farm.

Tear saw him wave as he left and wished very much that she was going with him.  All her courage left her and she was about to live up to her name when a pale blonde woman stopped in front of her and took both of her hands, gently pulling her up.

“It can only be one day, but I want you to have the time of your life.  Will you come with me?”

Tear felt that she knew this woman but couldn’t remember where she had seen her before.  She felt comfortable in her presence, however, and the tears that almost came out of her eyes dried up immediately. She was going to have a wonderful day, so why worry about the future?

“Just call me Tilly,” said the woman. “Now let me tell you what we are going to do first.”

Tilly took Tear to a big department store where they looked at childrens’ clothes.  She helped Tear select a red and white dress, some white sandals, a straw hat and a white handbag. Tilly told her to put them on while she put the old clothes in a carry bag printed in a black houndstooth design.

“Now I’m going to take you to have waffles and ice-cream,” exclaimed Tilly excitedly.  They sat on high stools in a café overlooking the harbour, savouring the sweet, crunchy waffles.  Tear thought she had never been so happy.

Tilly led Tear down to the ferry terminal and soon they were standing on the bow of a ferry, the wind in their hair and the salt spray in their faces.  They pulled into a jetty, clambering ashore with lots of other families.

“Look up,” said Tilly.

Tear saw the biggest face she had ever seen in her life.  It had large white teeth, bright red cheeks and popping eyes. Its hair stood up like a crown. Behind it she could see a fairyland of towers and turrets, enormous wheels and what looked like little trains climbing up steep rails of steel.

“We are going to buy a ticket,” said Tilly, “that allows us to go on any ride we want.  How about we start with the merry-go-round?”

Tear walked under the white, shiny teeth and stared around while Tilly bought the tickets.  A woman was selling pink fluffy stuff on a stick and before she knew it Tilly was handing her one.

“It’s called Fairy Floss and it just dissolves in your mouth like magic.  Look at the horses on the merry-go-round.  Which one would you like?”

Tear chose a prancing black horse with a flowing silver mane and tail.  Tilly sat astride a golden horse with a colourful saddle and laughed happily at the people waving from the side.

They tried the Ferris Wheel, looking out across Sydney Harbour as they teetered at the top.  The Ghost Train was scary when a figure stepped out and touched Tear on the arm.  They even went on the Roller Coaster, climbing slowly to the top before swooping down the other side.  Tear felt a little sick in the stomach after that but she wasn’t going to tell Tilly.

“Hot dog or sausage roll?” asked Tilly.

Tear decided on a hot dog.  She hoped it wasn’t a real dog in the middle of the bun, although Tilly assured her it was made from pig meat.  Tilly also ordered a big chocolate milkshake which she said they could share.

The sun was low on the horizon as they took the ferry back to Circular Quay. Tilly wanted to go to Chinatown for dinner but the motion of the boat made Tear feel very, very sick.  Soon her waffles, fairy floss and hotdogs had vanished over the side of the boat into the sea.  Once they were back on land Tear felt better so Tilly led her excitedly to Chinatown, past shops with shiny orange ducks hanging in the window and up a grand staircase to a room full of large circular tables.  Because they were only two, they were given a small table in the corner.

“I’m going to order my favourite dish to share with you.  It’s long and short, sweet and sour, fried soup.  The long and short bits are the noodles, the sweet and sour are the flavours, the fried part is the wontons and as for the soup…. well it’s not soup.  It’s a sauce.  I’ll get some fried rice with that.”

It really was delicious, but as the food disappeared Tear was filled with dread.  Her lovely day was coming to an end.

“We’re going to the pictures!  This day ain’t over yet,” cried Tilly.

They skipped along the pavement until they came to a brightly lit picture theatre.  Tilly bought tickets and a box of jaffas to roll along the floor and surprise the other patrons. The picture, called “Old Yeller”, was about a stray dog that adopted a family and became a much loved part of it until it was bitten by a wolf with rabies. Tear lived up to her name and Tilly joined her as they both sobbed their way out of the picture theatre.  Everyone around them was doing the same.

“We have to cheer ourselves up after that,” said Tilly.  “It was a wonderful story but so, so sad,”

Tear agreed.  She had never seen anything that she enjoyed so much even though it had made her sad.  It was a different sort of sadness, because when you walked out of the theatre you realised that it had nothing to do with your own life.  In fact Tear had forgotten all her own fears and worries while she was caught up in the story of Old Yeller.

Now they came rushing back as she realised the day must be over.  Tilly had one more trick up her sleeve, however.  She hailed a taxi and whispered to Tear. “You might see some strange people where we are going but I am dying for a coffee and there is only one place I know where I can get a proper cappuccino and that is Kings Cross.  You can have a hot chocolate.”

They climbed out of the taxi into a busy street full of people and cars.  Some women were beautifully dressed, standing around as if they were waiting for someone.  Tear didn’t have time to stare.  Tilly rushed her down some stairs into a dark room full of loud music and sat her in a comfy lounge while she went to order drinks.  To Tear’s relief the loud music stopped and was replaced by a soft melody on a piano.

Tilly took a swig of her coffee and sat back, wiping her lips with a handkerchief.

“Phew!  I needed that.”

Tear sipped her hot chocolate and found it to be very nice.  She noticed Tilly was staring at her.

“Tear, I have something to tell you.  I wanted you to remember this day for ever more because I can never see you again.”

She took another gulp of coffee and continued. “I am about to be married to a man called Charles.  He doesn’t know that six years ago I had a baby… a little girl.  I was too poor to keep her or look after her, but my sister tried her best with her until she had to leave to go away for a job.  Then she took her to an orphanage.  If Charles knew about the baby he would refuse to marry me.  I can’t lose him.”  She looked into Tear’s eyes. “Tear, you are that baby and I am your mother, but we can never see each other again after today.  One day, when you are grown up, we might be able to meet again but I want you to know now you can’t count on it.  So just remember today and don’t ever tell anyone that you met your mother.  Understand?”

Tear didn’t know what to say but she was determined not to cry.  They caught a taxi back to the orphanage and Tilly took her inside, kissing her briefly before waving goodbye.

It was late and all the other children were in bed.  Nurse Smiley quicky rushed her to the bathroom and checked she had cleaned her teeth.  Soon she was in her pyjamas and lying under a blanket.  Over and over she said to herself. “I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.”

END OF CHAPTER 6