D for Downsizing

lindamaycurry

I have often wondered why we are expected to downsize when the children have left and we no longer go to work.  I mean, we have spent our whole life working to achieve the ideal home subject to our financial limitations and then we are supposed to give that up, throw out half our belongings and move to something small and manageable.

It may have had something to do with the lockdowns during Covid, but two couples who are very good friends of ours made the move.  Both sold their large houses on quarter acre blocks and moved to quite different retirement situations.

We visited Couple Number One in their new home.  It was two and a half hour’s drive north of Sydney and situated in a village with the dubious title of having the oldest population in Australia.  That said, it is situated in a beautiful area, with clean beaches, a large, protected bay and a river which leads to a series of lakes.  Their home was spacious and well designed, with an outdoor area situated to capture the winter sun, overlooking grassy paddocks dotted with kangaroos. The over 55s resort has many desirable features.  There is an indoor and outdoor swimming pool, gymnasium, bowling green, model yacht club with lake, library, theatre and as many group activities as the imagination would allow.  True, there were no water views but many people owned boats and caravans and stored them on the property. The beach was accessible by car or riding your bike along the designated bike path.

Courtesy of Palm Lakes Resort

Driving home we looked at the negatives.  Two things stood out in our minds.  One was access to health care. Maybe it’s not such a problem at first but the older one gets the need to be close to specialists increases. In an emergency a helicopter could arrive at a nearby heliport and transport the patient to hospital in forty minutes. Conversely, where we live we can drive to the hospital in five minutes.

The other consideration was access to family.  The extra time to visit the grandchildren would require planning.  They could no longer come visit for a day or even a weekend.  Our son’s travel time from Canberra would be doubled.

Then there were friends.  Yes, they could come and visit.  But how often would that happen?  There would be plenty of new friends to make but would we want to have them living all around us?

Still, it was definitely an attractive option.

Couple Number Two opted to move to an established “Over 55” village near to their old home in northern Sydney.  As a result they were able to keep all their existing contacts, friends and familiar places.  They completely gutted the two-bedroom unit so that it boasts all new kitchen, bathroom, carpet and curtains.  They also have a sunny courtyard with a small manageable garden area.  Surrounded by lush gardens they have a swimming pool, a gymnasium and meeting area for communal activities. However, they miss the space and privacy of their former home and not having their boat and van in close proximity.

Could we actually part from our home of 45 years?  We decided if we could find the right place for us we would do it.

Several Real Estate Agents were contacted and we agreed to go ahead with one who seemed to know the area well and was sure that the market was ready, with many Sydneysiders looking to move to the South Coast.

As we made a list of all our home’s assets we wondered if we could find anything to replace it. We discussed why we wanted to move.  The garden was a lot of work.  House maintenance was ongoing.  The neighbourhood had changed because of proximity to the university.  Many of the large older homes in our area were being rented to students so it had lost its sense of community.  Each weekend was spent visiting possible new homes but nothing spoke to us.  We were also cooling on the idea of an Over 55 Community with the financial implications and loss of freedom and space.

Relentlessly time marched on.  The cypress pine floors were repolished. I removed the ancient curtains from the family room. We borrowed and bought boxes, wrapped all but essential possessions in bubble plastic and stored them under the house.  We removed excess furniture and family pictures. A stylist visited with suggestions.  Photographs were taken.  

A large sign emerged on the front lawn.  It was one week to the first Open for Inspection!

The agent rang.  Someone wanted to visit immediately as they would only be in town one day.  All right, we said and raced around making last minute adjustments.

Suddenly it was pouring with rain.  Unbelievably, water  dripped from the skylight over the kitchen sink.  That skylight had been there for forty years and now it chose to leak!

The rain stopped and after a quick wipe to remove the evidence we exited the house and drove away for a well-earned coffee.

This was repeated every Saturday morning for the next few weeks without the torrential downpour, fortunately.  Offers were made but our agent said to wait as our house was worth more.  Then came the offer we couldn’t refuse. We decided we had come this far and felt ourselves irretrievably swept along a path of no return.

Alas, it was not to be. The buyer may have decided she might get it for a lower price if she waited for the auction so she rescinded her offer.  By this time we just wanted to call off the whole thing and go back to the nice little comfortable life we had before.  What were we thinking, selling our lovely home?

Seven hours on the market

On the night of the auction we were ushered into a little room with a closed circuit television so we could watch the proceedings in peace.  A few properties sold or were passed in before ours came up.  The auctioneer did a good job praising the street appeal, the proximity to university, Botanic Gardens, local village, the well-maintained house and gardens, but there was absolute silence.  A vendor’s bid was placed but still there was silence.

It was over!  John and I high-fived and drove home in a state of euphoria.  Despite the agent’s pleas next day to leave it on the market another few weeks we were adamant.  We were not selling.

It had taken the imminent loss of our home for us to realise how perfect it was for us.  So the garden gets too much for us, we will get a gardener.  While we have a boat and caravan, we will store them on our own land.  I know the theory is you downsize while you are fit enough to do so because if you leave it too long it will become an unpleasant job for someone else.  

On the other hand, why not continue living in a home you are pleased to come home to?  The costs of hiring help and maintaining an older house can be balanced by the not inconsiderable costs of moving.

Life goes on.  We did replace that skylight and had the roof cleaned, repointed and painted. We have re-stained the deck twice since the For Sale that didn’t happen and do battle with the garden which grows while you look at it in this wet, sub-tropical summer.  

We have no plans to do anything different.  For now.

23 thoughts on “D for Downsizing”

  1. Oh, cannot imagine what it must be like packing and sorting a whole life’s worth of stuff! I’m a nomad, I move every 2-3 years but 3 is when I start to feel I have way too much stuff! 🙂

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  2. An enjoyable and thought provoking read!
    It also brought back memories of living in your lovely house during our exchange in 2004, I totally understand why you decided to stay!

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  4. I think downsizing in retirement works for some people and not for others. For example, my grandmother lived in her house all my life and she died still owning and running it. It was a decent-sized house with 4 bedrooms and a full basement. It just worked for her. Me, I craved a smaller house for retirement less stuff and less space to be responsible for. However, with 10 years till retirement, I know that and I am mentally preparing and I stopped buying extra stuff that I would just need to part with a long while back. I think downsizing is an individual thing. Great post.

    Stopping in from A-to-Z: https://brewingcoffeetwistingwordsbreakingpencils.ca/2023/04/05/drop-dead-book-review/

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      1. A lot of the pieces of furniture in my house are family pieces. Parting with those is hard. There were a couple I had to let go. I tried to find family or close friends that could take them, but when that wasn’t a reality I remind myself that my memories are with me whether I keep the item or not. So, hard.
        Thanks Linda for this great post. Have a great long weekend.

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  8. I sold my home of 25 years a year and a half ago and have never looked back. I bought a travel van, and I am so happy to be done with lawn mowing and being house-poor, worrying that at any moment something will break, implode, blow away or off. Happy to be done with noisy neighbors. My children were divided on my new lifestyle, but after watching my mother never quite fulfill her fantasy of traveling the country in a van and as dementia crept up on her, I resolved to move forward with my own dreams and freedom, sooner rather than later.

    That said, we all have different dreams and good for you for realizing you don’t have to follow anyone’s rules but your own. You get to decide what your future looks like! Live on your own terms.

    Cheers!

    Visiting from A to Z Challenge.

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  9. So we downsized six years ago from 5 acres to a double suburban block. Our daughters had moved up to the Newcastle region so now we are closer to them and only 1 1/2 hours down the freeway to our sons. I have seen a few friends move up the coast or to trendy country towns, fall ill and then have to travel hours for specialist services and hospital admissions.

    Among my criteria for the move were good medical services and proximity to shops and transport. We found this house right on the Lake, it has government buses pass by our door and with plenty of medical services near by. When we go travelling we get someone to mow the lawn.

    Perhaps we may need to move to a retirement community in the future but we hope to stay where we are for a few more years.

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  10. Downsizing is such a joy…not. We have been doing a lot of it in recent times and there is more we could do. We’ve lived in 10 houses since 1970 and two of them have been for 18 years each. Nothing like having to move to make you prioritise. Only problem is nature abhors a vacuum and next thing you know, more downsizing. I agree entirely about health facilities as we age and we’ve been very grateful for our new location on the Sunshine Coast.

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  11. So glad you decided not to sell, Linda. And having fixed up your already-beautiful house and systematically gone through the process of visiting friends who had downsized and then trying to sell, you now know why you have consciously decided to stay. We found ourselves “upsizing” (is that a word?) rather than downsizing a few years ago, when what felt like the perfect house came along at just the right time. I find myself feeling a bit guilty about this, when everyone expects us to do the opposite. We did do a lot of work on our old house before we sold it (2-3 years later), but that process only reinforced for us why we had moved. I don’t regret the decision, and I can see that you don’t regret yours.

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